to homeschool or not
We have been waffling with the idea of homeschooling for a while in our home. On one hand, we have looked at the education system (both here, and across the country) and it just seems to be failing so horribly. Add that into our own personal experiences, and we feel like we would be doing a huge disservice to our children if we willingly sent them to public school.
Since private school for three (or more?) children will most likely never be in our budget, it seems as if homeschooling is the way for us to go. Luckily for us, we have some guidance with my aunt and uncle who have been homeschooling for a few years, and West Virginia is a pretty homeschool friendly state. I know that the paperwork to begin homeschooling is rather easy, the local YMCA offers weekly gym classes for the kids, and that public school sports & arts programs are all open for homeschooled children to join in.
It all seems kind of perfect, right?
Except not.
We all know that I haven't exactly felt in my calling as a stay-at-home-mom. I've been longing for the day that I can return to work, which has always been the day that all of our kids are in school because (just like private school) daycare is too expensive for our budget.
BUT, the big issue I have with being a stay-at-home-mom is that I have pretty much no adult interaction except via the internet, and that I don't feel like I am accomplishing anything by being here. Would those issues become moot points if I joined homeschool co-ops, and if teaching my children makes me feel like I'm worthwhile?
I don't know.
How can I know?
On top of all of that, I'm in the midst of (finally) finishing my English degree. Should I try to tack on a teaching degree if I plan on homeschooling? I wouldn't need it, but it would be helpful, right? What happens if I finish my degrees now, then homeschool for the next 20+ years, and then try to go to work? I would never be able to do it. My degree would be obsolete with that big of a gap. So if I homeschool will I be stuck as a stay-at-home-mom then housewife forever?
I am fairly certain that I would not be happy with that outcome.
But I don't know for sure.
How can I know right now, at age 23, what I will be happy with 20 years in the future?
This is exactly why I could never decide on a college major. How could I decide at 18 what I wanted to do for the rest of my life?
Apparently, not much has changed in five years.
10 comments:
Decisions decisions..tough aren't they! I could truly relate to your plight and empathize with you. I am now in my 4th year of homeschooling my kids. They were all previously in private school. Finances changed and my thoughts of "I'll never homeschool" turned to "maybe" then to "I think I can!"
I can honestly say that when I turned my thinking from self focused on me, to my children it changed all my longings of an outside career. I never thought it would, but it did. I can't imagine not staying home and teaching my kids now. I'm actually graduating my oldest this year! Ack!
I hope I can encourage you as there truly is nothing more satisfying and rewarding than giving your kids the best. And funny thing is you'll find the more time you spend getting to really know them, the more you actually like being with them! It's great! And as for being lonely, I have so many great friends I've met through homeschooling. I am far from lonely now. There are so many opportunities through coops, groups, etc, you'll be amazed.
Thanks for sharing your heart. :)
Wow, that's a lot of angst! I hardly even know where to start. I can see that you're still viewing a lifelong career as something every well-rounded adult has, and that seems to be the main thing holding you back. You seem to wonder how you'll make your mark on the world if you're "just" a homeschooling mom. I've struggled with some of the same thoughts. How can I stay relevant, have something to fall back on, etc? But as I've gotten better at what I'm doing now, I've realized that it doesn't matter what I'm going to be able to do 20 years from now, as far as jobs go.
Every homeschooling mom I know who's at the end of her career as a homeschooling mom has so much on her plate in terms of community, mentoring, and entrepreneurial roles that she's certainly not worried about what she's going to do with herself. Your identity is going to be somewhat different than you'd expected, but that doesn't mean there won't *be* one!
As far as the teaching degree, I'd say don't worry about it. I know several moms with teaching degrees and they all say the same thing: it did little to prepare them for teaching their own children.
If you've got the right reasons for homeschooling (and it sounds like you do!), and you're able to discipline yourself to work hard at it and do whatever your children need, it won't take more than a couple of years of living this life to see that this is a career. Not only that, but when you get plugged into a community, you'll see that moms who have been doing this for a few years are smart, respected members of their community whether they have a "career" or not.
It doesn't matter if some corporation wouldn't hire you because of the blank spot on your resume. You will have been working and learning all this time, and you'll make yourself useful doing what you're best at (whatever that is).
You'll still have dreams, and you'll be mature enough to fulfill them. Homeschooling will toughen you up for it, I promise. ;-) You're not ruining your future options, just creating a different set of them.
Whatever you decide I know you will do it well. I spent 18 years of my life homeschooling, and I turned out alright. Good luck dear!
Those are SUCH tough decisions I don't even have anything helpful to say, but am sending happy thoughts of peaceful choices your way!
You are me, a long time ago. We have been in and out of homeschooling for 11 years. We started homeschooling from the beginning (after a lot of your kind of angst.) It wasn't easy, but it was rewarding and FUN. Then, when my son was about to start middle school, I got cold feet and decided it was time to put them into private schools. They loved it. Then they got sick, both of them, seriously, chronically ill. We went back to homeschooling, and for several years, we kept hoping they'd make it back to school. Well, my son is now a junior in college (didn't go back to school until college.) My daughter is now a graduating homeschool senior (never made it back to school.) And guess what? They BOTH are grateful that they didn't go back to school, and I am grateful that they are independent learners with extremely strong critical thinking skills who have no interest in any kind of group-think mentality. Am I glad we homeschooled? Definitely. I have been out of the corporate workforce for the last 20 years. I probably would not be able to find a similar type of position to the one that I had 20 years ago, because I have been out of it for so long. (Well, maybe, I don't know.) But I have NO interest in that now. Homeschooling has grown me up, too, and I have a much more entrepreneurial spirtit now(as do my kids. Which is a good thing in the current economy.) Tutoring, photography, the options are endless for me right now. I am working on teacher certification (my degree is in Psychology), but I see it as a hedge in tough economic times, NOT a necessary thing to teach one on one. (Teacher education is often very useful for classroom teaching--not so much for homeschooling.) Do you have a lot of support? Are there options available for field trips, classes with other homeschoolers, etc? Homeschool parents are often incredibly fun, outside the box friends, so if you have other homeschool families around you, you will have many options for adult friendships. Best wishes! (and I couldn't pick a major in college either!)
I think parenting and teaching Kinder age and younger is a whole different ballgame than 1st grade and older. When my kids were younger I some times felt they sucked the life out of me and I wanted to talk to grown ups. Some of that I am sure was me needing to grow-up. Some of that is because it's not real exciting talking to a 4YO all day long. Now my girls are 10YO and 7YO and are very interesting to talk to. I had to learn to be content; it's a habit or mindset I learned to cultivate over the years. Being involved once a week in a group where I got to talk to other moms saved my sanity. IMHO, look for fitting some adult stuff in and go for it.
Wow...something to think about.
First of all, I would not recommend getting a teaching certificate. I taught public school for 6 years & earned a Masters of Education. When I started homeschooling, I had to re-think everything. I "unlearned" my public ed ways and started to teach myself how to give my kids the tools for learning, as well as a love of learning.
All my kids are grown, 2 in college, 1 married. We homeschooled for 10 yrs. We also did private school & played sports in public school.
I said I would never homeschool...too isolationist. Well, things change. Due to the situation in our private school (4th grade), we had to pull out my kids. Homeschool was the best option.
Depending on how you homeschool, you could spend every day in activities that would bring you near other adults. However, I don't suggest that. If you decide to homeschool, find a few activities or one co-op where you can develop some adult friends while your kids are learning.
Finally, I know you've been dreaming about going back to work. I would encourage you to see your kids as your life work for the next 15ish years. Babies & toddlers are tiring, but as they get older, you will enjoy them so much. I'm so grateful I spent time developing a lifelong friendship with my kids. I'm so glad I was able to see my kids grow developmentally. I was near when they made achievements. I celebrated with them.
It seems like yesterday my kids were running to the back door when Dad got home from work. Fast forward 20 yrs... my 2 daughters are my good friends. We eat breakfast once a week together. My 19yo son comes up to me and hugs on me. If I hadn't spent time with them growing up, I don't think we would have that special, lifelong relationship.
I know I'm biased, but being a stay-at-home mom can be most of the most rewarding & fulfilling jobs ever. It's exhausting when they are young, but well worth it in the end.
Praying for your decision ;-)
My last comment was somehow connected to our old blogger account. sorry about that
Kerry
Those last two comments make a very, very good point! Don't judge your future as a homeschooler by those very hard early years. It gets soooooo much easier. Academically, you might have some ups and downs, but socially, this is not how it's going to be forever. Those early years are tough.
Oh, I forgot to mention one thing in my previous long rambling comment! It is easier for kids to adjust to homeschooling when they have NOT been in a traditional school setting. School learning is a WHOLE different thing from homeschooling, and sometimes it takes a period of DE-schooling them once they've been in regular school. (With that said, kids are pulled from school all the time and successfully homeschool.)
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