Pre-Schooler Chores
As I've touched on a few times, husby and I grew up in households with completely different parenting styles. One of those differences is chores. Husby always had A LOT of chores to do (they lived on a farm), and I literally had none. Well, actually, when I was about 15 my mom tried to start giving me a few chores (like unloading the dishwasher), but I threw a huge fit and basically refused to do it. It was a horrible case of teenage attitude mixed with it being too late to try to introduce me to them. While I know that I was spoiled, I also think that husby had way too many chores. So how do we find a happy medium for our children?
Sebastian Swiffering with an oven mitt on his hand when he was about 1.5 or 2.
Right now, Sebastian is 3 years and 4 months old. His current chores are taking his dishes to the sink, his trash to the trash, taking diapers to the trash, feeding his fish, picking up his toys, and putting his laundry in the hamper. He also sometimes dry Swiffers the floors for me, but that's when he wants to. Genevieve is 11 months old and has no chores, but she thinks that it is her job to take clean clothes out of the laundry baskets piece by piece.
So far, we have not paid him or rewarded him for any of his chores. We're torn on this issue, too. I feel like he should get something for helping out, but husby feels like they're family responsibilities and he should be expected to help out. I have to say, I understand husby's point of view, and having to pay three children for doing chores would get pretty expensive, but not rewarding them seems wrong. I know that I like to be acknowledged for my work, and I get discouraged when I'm not.
Do your children have chores? Do you reward them for doing them?
8 comments:
Maddie is 5 1/2 and has chores but we aren't very good at enforcing them. They re pretty basic though: laundry in the hamper, dishes in the sink, keep her room picked up, feed her dog twice a day. Since the addition of a baby sister we added clean up Zoey's toys in the living room after dinner. Obviously her sisters toys are not her responsibility so we do give her a dollar at the end of the week if she completes her regularly expected chores and the bonus toy cleaning. Fair? Not sure. She doesn't complain and is saving for a doll that she wants.
I've been thinking about doing something like this with Waylon, with a chart with little stickers. He doesn't like to put on his own clothes, even though he can, so that would be one, putting his toys back in their bins, stuff like that. And maybe the reward would be getting a bigger sticker or getting to pick his dessert for after dinner on the weekend, if he fills up his sticker chart for the week. I don't want to buy a bunch of crap toys or give him money at three years old.
My two year old has chores but he does not get paid. He cleans up his toys and other small things. Our philosophy is that no one gets paid for doing chores - it is part of being a family and sharing a common space. He has to clean up after himself at daycare as well and does not get rewarded, so I wouldn't want for him to start thinking in the mentality of doing things only for something in return.
My son has a chore chart. He loves to help sweep, set the table, clean his room, dust, and help with the recyling.
My son has a chore chart. He loves to help sweep, set the table, clean his room, dust, and help with the recyling.
Our kiddos are all much older. One of the struggles we had in moving in and combining lives, is that the kids were never required to do anything and my fiance pretty much babied them and picked up and waited on them hand and foot. That has since stopped and they are required to keep rooms clean, put dishes in the sink, do their own laundry and take out trash. It's been a struggle, but we both agree that they are better for it and the responsibility has helped tremendously.
I guess I never really thought about this for my kids. I didn't get an allowance as a kid and I never expected to. My mom always told us that we had to work together as a family to take care of our home. I think the concept is a good one, but I don't want my kids to think that they have to do things to get paid. Maybe I would let them earn special privileges- pizza out, or something they like- on occasion.
Something to think about! :) Thanks for this post!
I had tons of chores when I was younger and I got an allowance every week. If we didn't do chores we were in trouble. I have a 21, 16, and 4 year old. I try to make them do chores but they just lay around for the most part. However, I don't give them an allowance as I sort of back and forth on the issue of they deserve it and it is family contributions. Anyway when I ask them to do a spacific job they will do it but not without asking, this is frustrating. When they want money sometimes I give it to them and sometimes I make them do something for it. Really digging the idea of having the 4year old use the swifter I bet she would love that!
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